The Messenger (skit)

{set in a restaurant with muzak playing in the background}
Krayzie aw sh*t. excuse me man, excuse me.
Waiter uh, yes sir?
Krayzie could you tell me where the payphone at in here or somethin'?
Waiter certainly. back there by the wine racks.
Krayzie all right, thanks a lot. thank you, thank you.
Waiter oh, you're welcome sir.
Krayzie sh*t. it's a classy-ass, m*thaf*ckin' restaraunt. know this m*thaf*cker
Got the money, punk m*thaf*cker.
Sh*t. {pick's up phone, dialtone, puts in money and dials, it rings.}
His contact hello?
Krayzie yeah, hello?
Contact what's happenin'?
Krayzie yeah, i'm in the m*thaf*ckin' spot now, man...
Contact he there?
Krayzie i don't see nobody yet, but i know the nigga'll be here. he got
Reservations.
Contact all right, handle your business.
Krayzie i think i see his broad comin' in right now...
Contact right on time.
Krayzie so don't worry about sh*t. i'm a handle this nigga, man. this nigga in a
Classy-ass, muthafuckin' restaurant;
I know this nigga got the m*thaf*ckin' money. don't worry about sh*t, i'm a have
It. all right?
Contact no mercy, nigga.
Krayzie all right. {hangs up phone}
Broad excuse me.
Waiter uh, yes ma'am.
Broad i have a reservation. it's for jones.
Waiter for jones? let me see here for a minute. oh yes, mr. jones called. he
Said, he is running late,
But i am to seat you now.
Broad okay, thank you.
Waiter follow me this way. here you go ma'am. um, would you like to start with
Something to drink while you wait?
Broad do you have a chardonnay?
Waiter most certainly. coming right up. oh, and uh, here is mr. jones right now.
Hi, mr. jones how are you this evening?
Mr. jones hey, what's up? what's up? what's up?
Broad hi, baby.
Mr. jones hey, baby. damn.
Broad baby, what took you so long? i been just waitin' and waitin'. this is a
Nice place.
Mr. jones yeah, its cool. it's cool. did you order yet?
Broad no, baby. i was waitin' on you...baby?
Mr. jones what? what's happenin'?
Broad that guy's been staring at me since i've sat down.
Mr. jones what dude?
Broad you know him?
Mr. jones what dude?
Broad that guy over there.
Mr. jones over where? aw, sh*t.
Broad baby, what's wrong?
Mr. jones damn, don't worry about it! just...damn. just...just be cool, just be
Cool.
Broad baby, he's walkin' over here now.
Mr. jones oh, sh*t.
Broad baby, he's...baby he's goin' in his jacket.
Krayzie message for mr. jones, m*thaf*cker!
Broad oh, sh*t!
{admist a massive array of gunfire and commotion, screaming, glass breaking,
Reloading.}
Mr. jones cover your head.
Krayzie punk m*thaf*cker. punk m*thaf*cker! {gunfire ceases}
F*ck you! get the f*ck out my way! get the f*ck out my way!
{gunfire} f*ck you! get the f*ck out my way. get the f*ck out my way.
A bystander my leg! my leg!