Would Not Come

if I make a lot of tinsel then people will want to
if I am hardened no fear of further abandonment
if I am famous then maybe i'll feel good in this skin
if I am cultured my words will somehow garner respect
i would throw a party still it would not come
i would bike run swim and still it would not come
i'd go travelling and still it would not come
I would starve myself and still it would not come
if I'm masculine I will be taken more seriously
if I take a break it would make me irresponsible
if i'm elusive I will surely be sought after often
if I need assistance then I must be incapable
i'd be filthy rich and still
it would not come
I would seduce them and still
it would not come
I would drink vodka and still
it would not come
i'd have an orgasm still
it wouldn't come
if I accumulate knowledge
i'll be inpenetrable
if I am aloof no one will know
when they strike a nerve
if I keep my mouth shut the boat
will not have to be rocked
if I am vulnerable I will be
trampled upon
i would go shopping and still
it would not come
i'd leave the country and still
it would not come
i would scream and rebel still
it would not come
i would stuff my face and still
it would not come
i'd be productive and still it would not come
i'd be celebrated still it would not come
i'd be the hero and still it would not come
i'd renunciate and still it would not come