The Cheerleader

Performed by adam sandler and steve koren


[sound of pom-poms]
Cheerleader: [with annoying feminine voice] "ok you guys, let's hear some spirit!"
[performing cheer]
Cheerleader: "united, we are united.. we'll be 'cause we're the tigers, we're out for vic-tor-y - yeah!"
[no response]
Cheerleader: "come on you guys! i wanna hear you!"
[still no response]
Cheerleader: "come on! the girls volleyball team's got a big game tonight! and we're gonna win 'cause we're the -"
Guy in crowd: "sit down!"
Cheerleader: "you guys are assholes!" [whining] "you think this is easy being a cheerleader!? let's see you come down here and try it!"
Guy: "shut up!"
Cheerleader: "you're the one who should be shutting up! this is my senior year of cheerleading and you're ruining it! i paid for my pom-poms with my own money." [half-crying]
Guy: "you suck!"
Cheerleader: [hurt] "i was gonna do a split for you guys, but now i'm not gonna cuz you guys don't appreciate anything."
[something hurled and hit cheerleader]
Cheerleader: "owwww! who threw that!? i'm gonna get a bruise now! i hate my school!" [whining]
[crowd cheering softly in background]
Guy: "we're sorry."
[pause]
Guy: "just kidding, you suck!"
Cheerleader: [half-crying] "ahhaw..no..."