Boy Wanted

I've just finished writing an advertisement
Calling for a boy.
No half-hearted romeo or flirt is meant;
That's the kind i'd not employ.
Though anybody interested can apply,
He must know a thing or two to qualify.
For instance:

He must be able to dance.
He must make life a romance.
I said a boy wanted,
One who can smile;
Boy wanted, lovable style.

He must know how to say "yes!"
When i look at a new dress.
Oh, i'll be ready when the right one calls,
And i'll start vamping him until he falls;
Yes, if he proves to be the right little laddie,
I'll make him glad he answered my ad.

He must like musical shows,
And he must wear snappy clothes.
Yes, that is my story,
And to it i'll stick;
No glory
In having a hick.

He needn't be such a saint,
But, oh! he dassent say 'ain't.'
I don't care if his bankroll totals naught,
For we can live on love and food for thought.
If he's a scholar, when i see him i'll holler,
My lad, i'm glad you answered my ad!'

Transcribed by todd peach <[email protected]>
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Original version:
Verse:
I've just finished writing an advertisement
Calling for a boy.
No half-hearted romeo or flirt is meant;
That's the kind i'd not employ.
Though anybody interested can apply,
He must know a thing to qualify.
For instance:

Refrain 1:
Teddy:
He must be able to dance.
He must make life a romance.
I said a boy wanted,
One who can smile;
Boy wanted,
Lovable style.
He must be tender and true,
And he must know how to woo.
I know we'll get acquainted mighty soon,
Out in a garden 'neath a harvest moon;
And if he proves to be the right little laddie,
I'll make him glad
He'll answer my ad!

Refrain 2:
Toots:
To be the boy of my choice,
He needn't own a rolls royce.
The kind of boy wanted*
Needn't have gold;
Boy wanted,
Mustn't be cold.
If he has oodles of charm,
I'll even life on a farm.
If he fits into my picture of a home,
I'll be so nice he'll never have to roam.**
Yes, if he proves to be the right little laddie,
I'll make him glad
He answered my ad.

Refrain 3:
Babe:
He must like musical shows,
And he must wear snappy clothes.
Yes, that is my story,
And to it i'll stick;
There's no glory
In having a hick.
He must know how to say "yes!"***
When i look at a new dress.
Oh, i'll be ready when the right one calls,
And i'll start vamping him until he falls;
And if he subsidises me, oh, sweet daddy!
I'll make him glad
He answered my ad!

Refrain 4:
Bunny:
The movies he must avoid,
He'll know his nietzsche and freud.
I said a boy wanted,
One who knows books;
Boy wanted
Needn't have looks.
He must be such a saint,
But, oh! he dassent say 'ain't.'

I don't care if his bankroll totals naught,
For we can live on love and food for thought.
If he's a scholar, when i see him i'll holler,
'my lad, i'm glad
You answered my ad!'

*alternative version of this line: 'the sort of boy wanted'
** alternative version of this line: 'i'll be so nice he'll never care
To roam'
*** alternative version of refrain 3, lines 7-8:
'and so his boots mustn't squeak;
And he must love like a sheik.'

Primrose version:
Verse:
I've just finished writing an advertisement
Calling for a boy.
No half-hearted romeo or flirt is meant;
That's the kind i won't employ.
Though anybody interested can apply,
He must know a thing to qualify.
For instance:

Refrain 1:
To have a ghost of a chance,
He must be able to dance.
The sort of boy wanted
Must have a smile
Boy wanted,
Lovable style.
He must be tender and true,
And if he knows what to do,
I think i'll learn to love him very soon;
I'll want him morning, night and afternoon.
So if you know of one who's wanting employment,
Just tell him that
I'm wanting a boy!

Refrain 2:
To be the boy of my choice,
He's got to own a rolls royce.
He must be quite reckless
Buying me things:
Pearl necklace,
Diamond rings.
He must be ready to pay
A dozen bills ev'ry day.
I'll simply smothing him with tender care
If i could find a multimillionaire.
So if you could seen one dining at the savoy-oh!
Just tell him
I'm wanting a boy!

Refrain 3:
I won't have anyone small,
He must be handsome and tall.
I said a boy wanted,
Beautifully dressed;
Boy wanted,
Trousers well pressed.
He must have wonderful eyes;
He must wear wonderful ties.
I want a boy who'll always look as though
He's only just come out of savile row.
So if some paris wants a helen of troy-oh!
Just tell him that
I'm wanting a boy.