M.h.'s Jokes

[mes is the one swearing a lot]

Anyway, this guy goes "fuckin 'ell, you don' 'alf complain for an eleven year old do you?"

Ooooohhhh

-that machine is nice

-fuck off it took me ages to get that, yeah

-i want that machine

-yeah what yeah right,

-clean joke

-wuh

-if i tell a good clean joke, can i have that?

-no you fuckin can't

-i want it, honest

-you can't have it

-there's no vus coming up there at all. is it supposed to have vus on it?

-no, it's not. 's fuckin' my machine, that. keep your hands off it.

-it's your machine. it's a vu-less machine. sure it's recording, mark? better turn the volume up. ok, what d'you call a guy with a spade in his head? doug.

-jesus, that's pathetic.

-what d'you call a guy who's been dead and buried for 30,000 years? pete. (nervous laugh) come on, then, astound me with your wit, mark.

[cut]

-come on, rewind it, let's see what you had to say.

-erm, we've been through this before, haven't we?

-right i'll do it for the tape like all them other bands do, like we've done it once, but the cameras weren't rolling

-nah, i'm thinking of my joke actually.

-so i'm reading frank zappa, right, it's an au- it's a biography by frank zappa

-right [mes totally disinterested]

-and - errrr - it's 1988, i go tup to 1988 and the book is about how many things he released, when he released it

-hrrrrrrghhhhhm

-how many offshoots and all this shit, and all of a sudden i'm realising, errr

-more interested when you were talking about napoleon actually